The Archives
Every story, receipt, and prophecy — filed under Chase. Hover a quote to see who said it.
Favorite Memories
The moments that stuck.
“Probably when he took the weed cake we made home, and then his mom accidentally ate it and had to miss work.”
“I really cherish the times we've travelled together. From watching him aggressively weave between oncoming traffic in Costa Rica to his brakes catching fire on the way to the Yuba River, Chase's chaotic nature leaves you with memories that will make you smile for the rest of your life.”
“It's hard to pick just one — doing acid and staring at a wooden door, going to the strip club in the middle of the night with Evangelo, bioluminescence our first night in Costa Rica, the muscle mami bar in Tokyo!!!”
“Secret Santa in 2024.”
“When Chase stripped down butt naked in broad daylight and streaked into the ocean in Costa Rica.”
“Doing shrooms in the woods!”
“The time we made syrup sandwiches.”
“A long conversation we had while I was sitting in a hand chair and he was sitting in a high heel chair!”
“So, so many stupidly entertaining nights, good meals, and endless awful movies”
“Rage baiting him in League of Legends.”
“Smoking a dab pen we found in Costa Rica in the morning before everyone got up and we went fishing.”
“Movie nights at the old house or this man hiking in a box of eclairs to eat at the river❤️”
The Chase Files
Peak Chase behavior, entered into evidence.
“Getting his catalytic converter stolen three times.”
“When everyone at my goodbye party caught a glimpse of Chase getting freaky in the bathroom because the window was wide open in the same direction as where I was giving my speech.”
“Going out to fancy dinner and he spills the wine everywhere (every time).”
“When he pooped so stinky that the whole house could smell it from outside the bathroom while Gabriela's mom was over.”
“When Chase came to my parents' house for the first time, he clogged their toilet <3.”
“He went to write something on the board and his pants fell down, flashing my side of the class with his pubes.”
“Chase was told to prep an avocado for dinner but he had never done that before so he peeled the avocado because an elderly lady on the internet sang a song about it.”
“He likes a good eater.”
“One time he came over and accidentally mistook the house next door for mine and ended up upstairs in someone else's room in someone else's house and I found him walking up to my house looking like he saw a ghost, mortified lol.”
When He Showed Up
The loyal, come-through side of Chase.
“Whenever I'm down, Chase always knows how to cheer me up. He gives the best pep talks, and has showed up for me through break ups and bad days. Chase has been there for all his friends every time they needed help. I remember back in high school, when he only had his permit, he got a call that one of his friends was in danger. Instead of leaving them in a bad position, Chase drove to go pick them up despite the legality. Chase will always show up for you — even if a fence is in the way.”
“He threw me a surprise birthday party when my mental health wasn't great and wasn't planning on doing anything for my birthday.”
“When he picked me up from the airport in his giant work truck.”
“When Chase wing manned me without me knowing it with Gabriela.”
“Chase always visits me when he comes into town, and knowing that he continues to show up and put in effort to maintain our friendship after 10 years is nothing short of remarkable.”
“Chase would always let me sleep over if I couldn't find a way back home.”
“Chase has shown up for me every time we hang out! We always have a good laugh and I really appreciate how he shows up as such a good friend.”
“We always have a nice conversation when I'm trying to call my bank and he picks up instead”
“He helped me stay sober from alcohol, friendship is the best medicine.”
“When he checked up on me and lets me know he misses me.”
“Tried to rescue all of us from a beach flats party....or when u answered the phone SUPER late cause I thought someone was in my house”
Words of Wisdom
Advice from Chase. Follow at your own risk.
“You are a bad bitch.”
“All of the dating advice Chase has ever given me has always worked against me, but once I started doing the exact opposite things started working out for me.”
“Pop your pussy gab.”
“(Not to me but to someone else in discord) "Don't let the little things get under your skin."”
“Always ask for free samples, even if it's not something you'd typically get samples for.”
“To be your most authentic and goofy self”
“Fuck that bitch.”
“Don't eat Taco Bell everyday but if you want to that's okay just have easy access to a toilet and maybe a bidet.”
Predictions
Where Chase lands in the next five years.
“He will be a rich engineer with a harem of alternative baddies.”
“I think he is goin get talked into getting a few tattoos by an alternative woman while living in Seattle.”
“Find a big titty goth girl sugar mommy and live happily ever after.”
“Finished with school and in the beginning phases of his career.”
“He will graduate from wizardry school and get the baddies of his dreams. Then settle down in a polycule in Seattle.”
“I predict that Chase will come to live in Portland and every day will be filled with beating up the beat and GTL.”
“Chase will be working at an engineering firm, riding a fixie, and talking about sustainable living while using paper plates.”
“Living his best life with great friends!”
“Lots of laughter, travelling and happiness :)”
“Chase in 5 years will either be living under a bridge, or on a throne in a mansion”
“My boi is about to be making big moneys and get married to a very successful model or doctor idk I just feel he's getting close to a big win.”
How Everyone Knows Him
Every road leads back to Chase. Hover a slice for the count.
13people
- Childhood1 · 8%
- Mutual Friends7 · 54%
- School5 · 38%